I am not a patient person. When I want something, I know I want it and I want it now. Some say you get patient with age, as you’re more experienced, you’ve gained some life wisdom and you’ve learned. Maybe I am an exception or am just being childish, still my patience is definitely one of my biggest weaknesses.
But why am I talking about patience and waiting?
Last couple of weeks were truly a nightmare. Between my friends’ problems that I’ve been listening about, I couldn’t find time for myself. And as I helped them the best I could and now I have plenty of time to think about my things, my mind is getting blown and I am getting tired. And I thought listening to my friends complaining and seeking for advice, a piece of Anna’s Wisdom, was annoying and tirinig and destroying me mentally. Hell no. This, what is happening now, is way worse.
So you have to understand I am in some kind of sinusoid of emotions and thoughts. Swinging from huge excitement to frustration.
This year, so far, has been the year of change. I redefined my life goals, created a plan for myself and, most important, started to take a moment when it’s there. I feel so lucky. Starting from next week, every month there is something I look forward to. And as I lay down in my bed thinking about all those situations that happened to me during the day, the thought of exciting times coming actually smashed me. Isn’t that what life is about? Making plans or not making plans at all but doing things that make you want to invent a time machine to experience it now, at this right moment? I am so excited that if I could, I’d used it and travel in time to make it all happen faster and make me feel happier and fullfilled. I feel blessed with all the people around me, with the stories we share, with this bunch of you here, reading my thoughts. And I feel like my heart is going to pop out of my chest, that’s how excited I am for the next couple of months.
I am impatient. I want all my plans to work out now. But I have to learn to wait for it. And try not to die because of excitement.
What I’m working on now is my own business. I may actually post something about my ideas as business itself starts earning money. I’ve been looking for a perfect job for myself for a while now, I’ve tried a couple of things and figured out that hey, you can mix it all and simply create a job for yourself. That’s what I am doing now.
What I’m looking forward to are the trips – Vilnius in a week, Dublin in October, London in December. Still have to figure out where to go in November. But hell yes, I am excited.
And with all this, I can’t wait to see my people, to chat, to hang out, to party, to see them, spend more time, experience, travel.
Man, I have to work on my patience.
PS/ No, I haven’t been drinking. I am totally sober. It is not an alcohol talk.